


A girl without a mother

by annannette (fanetjuh)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Baby, Depressing, dead clary fray
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 09:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10568724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanetjuh/pseuds/annannette
Summary: “No!” He screamed again and again and again and he screamed even louder when he noticed the small white bundle of blankets in her arms. “No…” He wrapped his hands around the little bundle and he didn’t know if he should let out a relieved sigh or if he should panic even more when the little girl started crying.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Shadowhunters AU Mondays on Tumblr

“No!” His scream was raw and came from deeper than any scream he had ever screamed in his life. “No, no, no…” He fell down on his knees next to the lifeless, bleeding body on the floor.

Her read hair waved around her face. Her eyes were open, but stared into nowhere.

He pressed a finger to the vein in her neck and he counted to ten, to twenty, to sixty, to hundred, constantly hoping that he would somehow feel a heartbeat again. He leaned over her open mouth while he prayed and prayed, even though he had no idea if there was even a God to hear him, that he would feel her breath touching his skin.

She didn’t move. The vein in her neck was not beating anymore. She wasn’t breathing anymore.

“No!” He screamed again and again and again and he screamed even louder when he noticed the small white bundle of blankets in her arms. “No…” He wrapped his hands around the little bundle and he didn’t know if he should let out a relieved sigh or if he should panic even more when the little girl started crying.

The crying was overwhelmingly deafening.

But Jace felt overwhelmingly powerless while he stared at his daughter without knowing what to do.

Clary was the one always taking care of her. Clary was the one soothing her when she was crying. Clary was the one knowing when the girl needed food. Clary was the one knowing when her diaper had to be changed.

Whenever Jace held her she simply just cried and cried until he gave her back to her mother.

But now she didn’t have a mother he could give her back to. She was stuck with a father who had no idea how to actually be one.

After all, Jace had never had a very good example himself.  
Clary had been the one with the caring parent. Clary had been the one knowing what to do. Clary should have been the one sitting here with her baby girl.

Jace stared at Clary’s lifeless body once more and he felt a shiver rolling down his spine. He was a Shadowhunter.

Death was as much part of their life as fighting was.

He should be able by now to keep himself together and to find a way to live on.

Now the child had no mother anymore, it needed a father. It needed him.

Jace stood up. His daughter was stilling crying in his arms, but he started walking. He barely saw the people he was passing. He barely noticed how many corners he was turning. He didn’t even notice that he arrived at the institute with the girl still crying and screaming in his arms.

“Jace?” Simon stared at the baby girl, at Jace and back to the baby girl. “Where's Clary?”

“Gone…” Jace froze. All color disappeared from his skin. “She's dead.” He said the word for the first time and he felt his heart breaking in a thousand pieces while tears started to roll down his cheeks. “How am I gonna do this? I can’t do this!” He wanted to push his baby into Simon’s arms, but Simon shook his head and gave the girl back.

“You'll figure it out, Jace!” Simon took a deep breath and he wrapped his arms around the Shadowhunter and pressed him to his chest. “You have to, because that’s what Clary would have wanted and who else will tell this little one the stories about how badass her mother was?”

Jace took a few deep breaths before he straightened his back again. He noticed that his daughter had stopped crying and he stared at her wrinkled little face.

Simon was right

He had to figure this out. He didn’t know how yet. But he had to.

For her.


End file.
